Before having my upcoming novel, Notes on an Orange Burial, accepted by Elixirist, I received my fair share of rejection notices from literary agents and publishers alike.
As most established and aspiring writers already know, you’ll never make it in this racket if you can’t handle getting rejected. During the year or two I spent actively submitting my manuscript, I actually began to look forward to receiving impersonal rejection notices from faceless agencies, as it gave me the opportunity to retaliate by sending them the following “Rejection of Rejection Letter.” (If you are as intrigued by the burning of publishing bridges as I am, feel free to use this letter in your own retaliatory efforts.)
Dear Agent (or Publisher),
Thank you for your recent rejection notification, but I am afraid that I cannot accept it at this time.
Please understand that I receive a high volume of rejection notifications and must be highly selective in choosing those that I am able to handle.
The acceptance of rejection notifications is a highly subjective process. The fact that I have decided to pass on your rejection in no way signifies that your rejection writing is sub-par. In fact, I strongly encourage you to continue rejecting the queries and submissions you receive each day, and wish you luck in all of your hope-crushing and dream-dashing endeavors.
(Insert your name here, if you dare.)